Failing.

Apparently Geminis are known for starting projects and not finishing them. Maybe that's just an excuse, but that is totally me. Like how I've been knitting a scarf for over four years now. One scarf. (it's green with red flecks and reminds me of guacamole.) I keep telling myself I'm not finishing because I don't know how to end the scarf, but truth be told in four years it's not long enough to be a scarf.

So what is it with me and failing? Do I just have a creative mind that fails to see things to fruition? I would never have thought I was a quitter. I hate quitting relationships. I've fought long and hard for friendships when they clearly should just be dead. I didn't quit school. Any of the times. High school, undergrad, even grad school. I didn't make poor grades. In fact, I excelled in most of my classes. But there are things I do that I just fail at. The or weighing on me right now (no pun intended) is getting healthy. I started logging everything I ate and all the exercise I was doing. Then I went on vacation. I walked a lot and ate a lot. And in the month since then, I just can't seem to get back on the wagon. I want to lose weight, I want to eat right and work out. I relish the burn of working out. But my bed is much more inviting. A cupcake more exciting than veggies. How does one go from failing year after year at something to making a change for good?

I want to be healthy going into my 30s. I want to date and think I look good. I want to be confident, more than just intellectually. And I want people to think I'm cute without thinking I'm a cute pregnant girl. I don't want to fail at this.

So here's to riding my bike when I get home from work tonight. Instead of taking a nap. I guess sometimes the only way to stop from failing is to succeed on day at a time.